


Reason

by FeistyDreams (Altraya)



Series: Boy Meets Girl Collection [5]
Category: Full Metal Panic
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-25
Updated: 2012-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-30 03:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/327036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Altraya/pseuds/FeistyDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have finally come to a head, and they're on the run. It's their last night in Japan, and as they're sitting in their shared hotel room, Kaname makes a decision. Short, unedited, free-write.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reason

"Sousuke?"

"Hm?"

Kaname stood beside the bed in their small hotel room, tapping her finger next to his wallet on the nightstand and gazing down at it. She bit her lip nervously as she considered her next words. They were on the run, having spent the past week and then some traveling the length of Japan, sometimes going backwards a few towns just in hopes of throwing off the people that may still be trying to pursue them, though they surely lost them some time ago. It wasn't even safe for Sousuke to contact Mithril and arrange transport. They'd had to dump their cell phones, they never returned to their apartments, and he couldn't really call them through conventional means. The routing he'd have to go through, the lines he'd have to work his way through, it was likely they'd be tracked and, since their line wouldn't be safe, any transport they did arrange would likely turn into a battle in their attempt to make it.

No, they were on their own, doing things the old fashioned way. Sousuke had his personal contacts, he had his sources, he had his stashes and all of his connections. They would make it out of Japan. They would make it to a place that they _could_ contact Mithril from. It was going to take time, but they'd get there.

But they weren't ever coming back to Japan.

"Chidori?"

She had been silent too long. Lifting her head slowly, she turned to look at Sousuke for just a moment before her gaze went downwards once more. Her voice was soft with an edge of something close to, but not quite, fear. "Sousuke... It's our last night in Japan."

"Mm. I'm sorry." He was standing several paces behind her, stiff and alert as ever. Though she was sure he was listening for every noise around them, that he was paying attention to everything there was to, she could also feel his gaze on her back, knew that he was staring at her intently, focusing on her and her body language and whatever she had to say.

Sighing, she closed her eyes and shook her head. It wasn't his fault, he had nothing to apologize for. "I always thought we'd have more time. I was really naive, huh? But, I thought, I thought we'd always have more time. I never thought it would really come to this."

She heard him shuffle uncomfortably, and then he spoke up in a strained voice filled with regret, "I, I wasn't much better. I wanted those days to last forever, and I thought that I could protect them. I was so sure of it."

Kaname couldn't help but to smile a bit at that. It actually helped to relax her a bit, and she finally turned around to face him completely, her fingers loosely gripping the edge of the end table that she barely leaned her weight back against. "I know... Look. What I'm really trying to say here is... I should have said this sooner. But I didn't. I don't know why, but I've been holding back, even when I knew I should say it, I just never could get those words out. But this is it. It's our last day, and I don't want to look back on my time here with any regrets.

"Sousuke. I love you."

His eyes went wide and he stared at her, slack-jawed and in shock. He regained his composure though, and he looked aside. She could see on his face that he was searching not for his response, but for the precise words to voice what he wanted. He knew what he wanted to say, just not how to say it. Though, as much as she wanted to hear his response, she needed to get out the rest of what she had to say, even if she just embarrassed herself. She picked up the wallet that had been beside her hand and he gave her a curious look. From within, she pulled out the small package that she knew he kept in there, and why he thought it necessary. Flipping it over in her fingers, she analyzed it carefully for a moment before nodding resolutely and looking up at him with her cheeks rapidly reddening. "I, I also think that, that it's, ah, time you learned what this is _really_ for."

"Chidori?" He was definitely confused. He cocked his head to the side and nearly went cross-eyed as he tried to work out what she was talking about. To him, it was a leap in the total opposite direction from what she was saying.

To her, it had everything to do with it. "S-Sousuke, wh-what I'm t-tr-trying to s-say i-is," she bit her lip hard and took in a deep breath, steadying her nerves, or trying to. "I love you. And, and I should have told you a long time ago. And if I did, then, then we probably would have, uhm, by now, we would have," she closed her eyes. She took another deep breath. She opened those eyes and she met his confused expression squarely, cheeks bright red though her voice finally steady as she willed herself to get that sentence out, "I want for you to take my virginity tonight."

"Chi-Chidori!?" Whatever shock and confusion he bore just moments earlier didn't even compare to the pure disbelief and awe on his face just then. He stared at her, perhaps waiting for her to take back those words, to tell him it was all a joke, but she continued to meet his gaze, though it took all of her willpower to hold it, and he slowly started to come down from the initial jolt and really think about those words. Minutes passed before he finally spoke up, "Chidori. Are you, I mean, are you really sure? I'm not, I've never, I don't know how, and, and we aren't, this is, it's kind of sudden, and I don't want for you to, to regret it, or-."

"I'll regret it only if we don't. Sousuke, I mean it. You're the only one I trust, you're the only one I want this with, and it should have happened a long time ago. I want it to happen here, in Japan. I thought we would have more time, but we didn't, and I don't want to look back and think of everything I wasted so much time avoiding. If it doesn't happen here, Sousuke, I just...," she shook her head and looked at him, her expression pleading for him to understand. She just really hoped she wasn't embarrassing herself by offering herself to someone who wasn't interested.

Sousuke closed his eyes. What she said, to a point, he understood it. He had his own regrets too, he wished he'd had the courage to confess his own feelings to her so long ago. They'd thought they would have forever, but the eternity had become ephemeral instead. What seemed like so much time now seemed so scant. Sousuke met her gaze again and he gave her a tight nod, taking a cautious step towards her. "I, I understand, Chidori. But, truly, are you sure?" He had to know. He would hate himself if she felt rushed into it.

Seeing what it was that he really wanted from her now, she gave him a shy smile and a hesitant nod before speaking up, "Just, one thing? I just, I want to know, I need to know, how, what are your feelings, for me?"

That expression he wore when she had confessed returned. He sought for the right words and decided to give up the search to just say what was on his mind. "In my life, there have been many instances where I've been ready to die. I've been ready to die for causes, I've been ready to die for people, I've been ready to die just to put an end to the monotony, I've been ready to die simply because I expected to but couldn't run away. I've been ready to die to keep information out of enemy hands, I've been ready to die to allow people to escape. So, when I say that I'm willing to die for you, from me, that does not mean much."

She wilted just a bit. Her head bowed and her hands balled into tight, shaking fists.

"But. When I was assigned the mission to guard you, I was ready to die to protect you, since that was my job. You yelled at me for it though, and I realized that I actually wanted to return with you. The job ended, or so I thought, and I was relieved when I was told that it was going to be indefinite, since the threat could never truly be neutralized. Then, when I was taken away from you, it felt more like everything had been taken from me. And after everything that week, I fought to get them to let me stay. I would have quit if they hadn't. Because, that was when I realized, I had found something, some _one_ , that I was willing to live for."

Slowly, she looked up at him. Her fists loosened, and she met his gaze. Hers was a blend of sorrow and hope, his was unreadable, but incredibly focused on her. No, not unreadable. In those depths gazing at her so intently was a passion he'd kept in check for so long. And now it was spilling out. "Chidori, I'm in love with you, as well."


End file.
